What did the blind man say to the deaf man? Can you speak up? I cant hear you!

What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? One is a type of small aquatic craft, and the other is a human being who practices Judaism.

roses are red violets are blue i done your mom and i do you too

How did the little boy fall off his bycicle? Prior to this incident, a psychopathetic killer murdered his family. Therefore, to escape the killer, the boy got onto his bycicle in hopes of manuvering away from the threat. Since it was nighttime he did not notice the fault in the asphalt.( No ryhme intendid.) From flipping over his handlebars, he fell unconcious. Upon the killer spotting the boy, he sliced his head off and left the scene to not be spotted by police.

How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

All the kids at school we're playing soccer on a sunny day except Jenny, because she had a headache and didn't come to school that day

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

A man was driving and texting at the same time and when he was not looking a car passed him on the other side of the road. The man driving the car that passed the man was talking on the phone. When the man txting looked up and look back and said thank god thats not me talking i could of crashed if i was him

What are the two sexiest farm animals? Consider that we are humans we shouldn't find any sex appeal in animals but if i had to guess I would say Brown Chicka Brown Cow

How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

Hurricane sandy should have been named hurricane snooki because it ruined the jersey shore

What did the fat girl use on Wii Fit? Cheat Codes.

How do you approach a hot guy in the library? Very quietly.

A young girl walks into a dark alley. She emerges a few minutes later unharmed and goes about her day.

a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

A man walks into a bar, and is brutally slaughtered by eight drunk customers.

What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

Why didn't the cat have any legs? Because it was a snake

What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

Knock Knock Whose there? Its John

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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