how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

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Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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a man walks in to a bar he says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey laugh" so he goes in there and makes it laugh and gets a free beer ant then the next day he goes in and says "what can i get for a free beer" the bartender says "okay but first you have to make my donkey cry" so he goes in there and makes the horse cry and the bartender says " i will give you a free beer but first tell me what you did to make my donkey laugh and cry" the man says " first to make the donkey laugh i told the donkey i had a bigger penis than him then to make him cry i showed him

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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Yo mama so fat she went on a diet and steadily lost wait

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One fish... Two fish... Red fish... I have AIDs

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Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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How do you make Chuck Norris cry? Kill his family.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Meow

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men, went and made an omelette.

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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What do you call a fish without an eye? A fsh

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chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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