- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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Hello

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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roses are red, violets are blue when ever l flush the toilet i think of you

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Why was little Timmy afraid of his dentist? Because he was 10 foot scorpion.

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

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What did the Asian man say to the Mexican man? Nothing, due to the language barrier.

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3 Blondes walk into a bar. One ducks, the other two are hospitalized with mild concussions

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Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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Q: Why did the boy fall of the swing? A: He had no arms.

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what word starts with 'p' and ends in 'orn'? popcorn you sickos

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What's the difference between men and coca-cola? I don't like coca-cola

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There was a farmer had a dog and Bingo was his name-oh But the farmer killed and ate him, because Bingo licked himself inappropriately

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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