If your reading this you will realize that this sentence means nothing and I have just taken 5 seconds of your life that you'll never get back.

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

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A black man is sitting in front of the bus Then he respectfully gives up his seat to an elder woman

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A jew goes into a church. Yolo.

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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Once upon the time.... It was 12 o´clock

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Patrick: My name is 24. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick, you know whats worse than 24? Patrick: What? Spongebob: 911.

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why did the baby die ? he fell down the stairs

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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An Arabic Muslim is on a plane. He's flying to Chicago.

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A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They end up getting into a heated argument. After about an hour of back and forth they decide that each person has a valid point, agree to disagree, and go about there business.

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Go online. why? To get a quote. why? To save money. why? Because we said so! Parenting can be hard. See how easy it is to save with GEICO.

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What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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A man called the police and was later arrested for murdering himself,

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Ben: Something smells like updog. Jenny: What's updog? Ben: Nothin' much

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme oo

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What does a fish say when it swims into a wall? Damn

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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