What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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What do you call a duck who votes democrat? A duck

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im a dragon, no im not

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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What was the mentally challenged kids first word? He was retarded so it wasn't a word.

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Why are Germans good at soccer The Holocaust.

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What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

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Why did the man remain calm when the judge passed the death sentence? Because he was in another country and had no connection with the case.

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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How do you confuse an idiot? By confusing an idiot.

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Q: What's long and brown? A: The unemployment line.

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How did the black guy get knocked out? He was hit by a fridge.

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what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

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why did the guitar player cross the road? to play his gig

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There were three brothers. Big, Harry and Dick. They were walking along the road and were all instantly killed by a drunk driver. Their names were never mentioned and their story was used as a promotion for the seriousness of drunk driving and should not be taken lightly.

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What's Michael J Fox's favorite toy? While, a magic 8-ball might first appear to be a good guess. Let's be honest, those things really lose their luster after the first couple times. More likely it's something like a sports car or big screen television.

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed 1 fell off and broke it's skull. Momma told the doctor and the doctor said,"Your a bad mom."

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Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Well, he was dangerously fatigued from having weeped passionately the entire night in the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of 20 years and consequently finding out that his only daughter was in a tragic school bus accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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