what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

What is black and white and red all over? A half eaten zebra carcass.

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

What does AIDS smell like? AIDS has no smell. AIDS is a diease contracted though sexual contact with another being with the diease. It greatly increases the risk of infections and malignancy. Although AIDS has no smell, in the final stages large sores develope on the surface of the skin. This means you are going to die. Thus, HIV/AIDS has no smell.

What's green and has wheels? A frog in a wheelchair

A Man Walks into a Bar with a Dog. He is blind, and is promptly guided to his seat by other patrons.

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

whats red bubbly and looks out of a windo? a baby in a mocrowave

What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

Why did the man start vacuuming his neighbor's floor? He had to get the GSR

Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? It's socially acceptable to sit on a bench.

Two nuns are in a bathtub, one nun turns to the other and says "where's the soap". The other nun replies "it does, doesn't it".

What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

Your mum so ugly that she isn't married

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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