Whats the best way to get to a girls heart? A knife.

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem makes no sense refrigerator.

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DON'T TOUCH MY DUCK, IT HAS A ONE DOLLAR BILL

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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The dinosaurs aren't really extinct. Just kidding.

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

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What does a Jew and an oven have in common? Bagels.

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Why doesn't the fat kid have any friends? Because he is fat.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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What is just as real as a unicorn? World peace

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How can you tell when a African man is lying? Like any other person you would use a lie detector.

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

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a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

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A person who doesn't know hungarian is trying to read the next sentence. Sajnos nem érti, mivel nem tud magyarul.

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What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

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What did the French-Italian couple name their child? Angelo Pierre Smith, giving tribute to the father's uncle Angelo, and the mother's great-grandfather, Pierre.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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