How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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Whats black and white and eats like horse? A zebra.

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Why did the boy want to sleep in the same bed as his parents? His bedroom was on fire.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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Oh my God! A talking dog!

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Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

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A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

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If you like piña coladas! You might be an alcoholic

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What do you call a black priest? HOLY SHIT!!!!

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Knock knock? Who's there? A Jehovah's Witness. Oh. Knock knock? Who's there? Not me!

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It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

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Obama says: I can throw one 1,000 dollar bill out the window and make one person really happy Michelle says: I can throw ten 100 dollar bills out the window and make ten people really happy The Co-Pilot says: I can throw you both out the window and make 250,000,000 people really happy tee-hee

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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The WNBA.

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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Like a bit of a cozy fight or something.

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What do two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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What do you call a tub full of water? A bathtub!

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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