What does water taste like? Water

What did one man say to the other? I'm a Mormon.

A man is flailing his arms in the ocean. Help me, I'm drowning!, he screams. Some dude runs into the water, drags the man out, and is proclaimed a Hero.

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

A man walks into a bar. He is an alcohol and it is killing his family.

HAHA HEHE... WOW that was a good one! i didn't get it...

What do you get if you cross a egg and toast? Egg n soldiers.

why did the golfer ware two ares of paents. if he got a hole in one

Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

Knock, Knock No one was home.

Have you read Shakespeare? Dunno. Who wrote it? Shakespeare.

Is that your face or is your dog walking backwards.

Why did little tomas cry? Because he got raped by his uncle

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? Perhaps he didn't believe in banks.

What did the doctor say to his patient? You have stage IV Ovarian Cancer.

What do you say to a black man with AIDS? I hope you get medical help and find a cure for your illness.

Roses are multicoloured Violets are multicoloured Mushrooms are great

We are as to jokes as atheists are to religion.

Why does the man hate his job? He thinks working sucks?

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Dear People who are reading this, I am seriously considering suicide. My Mom beats me and my Dad rapes me in the butthole until i bleed. I have no friends and the only way i get my nut off is if it is into a napkin. I often put peanutbutter on my ballsack and have my dog lick it off. It is the only time that i am happy. I have the gun to my head right now and if you wanna talk me out of it. I live in Lincoln, Nebraska. My number is (402)713-9565. Hurry before i run out of time...... and tears. Sincerely, Adam Claypool

What happens when you give a math problem to a blonde? She works through it to arrive at the answer.

I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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