What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

How do you confuse a blonde? Hit her over the head with a baseball bat until she has concussion

Unconventional thinking Something else out of one: So sometimes I feel there is something I want right? But I don't feel like I deserve it yet or i hesitate although I fucking want it So I go home, decide to take my time before I decide to buy it, and sit my ass on a chair covered with spikes until I decide it is time to get it, Moral 1: You want to take the better decision but don't feel time is right? Some spikes up your ass is not only the perfect way to change your mind, but in this case an excellent metaphor to why you want to keep doing whats best for you. Moral best: Think if you could get all that time you spent hesitating back, would that not be awesome? What if you just stop hesitating now? Would that not be aweso... Go fuckyourself... Nerometal Fuck Neronism... Cool name though

Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

Coach: Hey, you missed the team meeting today, but I wanted to let you know we've had a number of changes to the lineup. Player: Really? Who's on first? Coach: That's right. A man with the unlikely name of Mr. Who is on first. We also have Mr. What on second, and Mr. I Don't Know is on third. The rest of the team is the same. Player: Oh. People have weird names now. But I'm sure they're great guys. Thanks for explaining that. Coach: Any time. Don't mention it.

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

Why couldn't the blind man drive? His sight impairment made him unable to fulfill the task without harming himself and potentially other people.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a video worth?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Why was 7 afraid of 9? Because 9 was black.

Chuck Norris doesnt need air to live, Air needs chuck Norris to live. Actaully that statment is a fallacy because it would be fatal to not breathe

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

Why did the dog lick his balls? Because he can.

why did the panda and puppy get into a fight? how should i know, you tell me.

What is the best Anti-Joke ever? Your Mom. :(

Why did Superman cross the road? I dunno.

What if the rest of you value something wrong?

Q: Why did Grandma fall down the stairs? A: Because she had a brain hammerage

How much seamen does a gay guy have??? A whole butt load.

If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

im watching you..

A Jew walks into a furnace.. The bartender says "What'll you have?" The Jew wonders why there is a bartender in this furnace, then they die.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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