What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

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Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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What has legs but can't walk? A table...or a dog with four broken legs.

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Why was the guy stupid? 'Cause he was!

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

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I am dyslexic

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Why did the alcoholic stumble into a bar? Because he was bleeding profusely and was desperately seeking a telephone to contact the nearest hospital.

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What do you call a shoe with milk in it.... A milk shoe....

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what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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why did the chinese man die because someone shot him

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a black man has a shotgun. having an IQ of 11 he shot his hands off

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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I helped build the town school. But when people see me, no one says "Hey, there's the guy that built the town school." I helped put out the flames, when the city was on fire. But when people see me they don't say "Hey, there's the hero that saved the city." But I have sex with one goat.... And people judge me justifiably asd having sex with goats is really disgusting and sticks in peoples minds.

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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