How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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Sarah Palin

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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What is 1+4x : No i will not take my pants off!

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Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

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There's two people, one wearing a nice sweater and the other is not. The one without has to walk the dog, so he asks the other guy if he can have his sweater. He says "No but you can wear it."

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Knock knock come in.

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Knock Knock! EXPLOSION!!!!

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Q. what is the difference between a black man and a park bench A. a parkbench can support a family A black man cannot

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Knock Knock ************************** No-one's home

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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"Knock knock." "No."

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Where's the dick??? east

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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What's worse than losing a basketball game by 1 point? Dying of lukemia.

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Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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A guy asks his girl friend to marry him and she says yes, so he buys her a new car - a Lamborghini Countach - she loves this car and she goes everywhere in it. One day, she picks up her kids from school. She's got a boy and a girl. As she's driving down the road, a car pulls up in front of her and they have a really nasty accident and she falls into a coma. When she wakes up from the coma there is a doctor next to her and she quickly asks doctor, "Where is my son? He was really good at football, he could have played for England and been better than Beckham." The doctor replies, "I'm so sorry, in the accident he lost his leg he won't be able to kick a football any more." The woman asks about her daughter. "Doctor, where is my daughter? She was really good at tennis and she could have been the best in the world and won at Wimbledon." The doctor says, "Sorry but in the accident she lost her arms and she won't be able to pick up a racket any more." She begins to cry. "Doctor," asks the woman, "how long have I been in this coma?" The doctor replies, "Six months." "So what's the date?" asks the woman. "April 1st," says the doctor. The woman begins to laugh "So you were joking then, were you?" Doctor: "YES... they had minor breaks and cuts but both have made full recoveries. I'll get them and your fiancé down here straight away." The woman is relieved and is discharged three days later to continue recuperating at home, while the doctor is sent to a tribunal for tricking her into believing her children had been maimed and eventually accepts early retirement with a generous severance package.

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Q. What do cows and grass have in common? A. They both moo, except for grass ????????????

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I am a dog.

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justin bieber: ask me if im a boy are you a boy? no.

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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Q: What do Magic Johnson and Freddie Mercury have in common? A: Freddie Mercury is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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