A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

Try this on your friend Have him start with "knock knock" Then blankly stare at him, if he asks you To reply tell him no one is home

A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: Sure. A: Do you want to hear a short one or a long one? B: uh... a short one. A: joke. Do you want to hear a long one? joooooooke.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

A: Knock Knock B: Whos there A: Orange B: Orange who A: Arent you glad i didnt say chair

Why did the Chicken Cross the road? Because it did...

How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have difficulty understanding each other.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

wat is the name of a girl u can play connect the dots on her face laurie pisciotta

I was going to tell a Holocaust joke, but I Jews not to. Anne Frankly, it's disrespectful. I'm sure you did Nazi that Hitlerious anti-joke coming.

Whats the difference between a phone and a mexican? You can't dial a mexican.

why cant stephen hawking dance He does not enjoy dancing

what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Ebola, You're going to die.

Yo momma is so fat that she is overweight

yo mamas so fat she probably has to wear a gerdle when she leaves the house.

Well, there's one way...

you first

Inbreeding is no laughing matter but damn is it funny.

whats black and white? Micheal Jackson. - Avery Vartanian

Q: how do you catch a bear? A: you dig a hole, fill the hole with ashes, surround the hole with peas, and when the bear comes to take a pea kick him in the ash hole

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was an attempted suicide. His family left him, he had been in and out of rehab for a terrible cocaine addiction for over ten years, and was still having nightmares about his abusive past.

Three friends were walking to school, they all looked in front of them and ran away. What did they see? A 200 ft dragon eating their school.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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