A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

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How do you make a person cross the road? Ask them nicely.

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what is blue and fuzzy? Blue Fuzz

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women rights

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

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A caar pllus itno a graege. You are probably dyslexic.

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A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

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This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

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Why did Jimmy miss a question on his test? He put D

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Q: which of the following is a prime number? A: 17

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Q: How do you make a black man nervous? A: Threaten to kill his family.

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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How do you dance to the black eyed peas? You don't you listen

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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why did the car drive off the cliff? The driver was a potato...

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Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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How do you tell if an alien had been in your house? All your lightbulbs are gone and your fridge is pregnant.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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What happens if Chuck Norris meets a Transformer? Nothing. They would converse, then go their separate ways. Or Chuck would get killed. Horribly.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? Because she is enjoying the meal her husband has prepared for her after a long day at her second full-time job of the day

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops