Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Im a dog. RUUUFFF!

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

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I Have a Black Friend

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Jellybeans

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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Who won the race across the highway, the Mexican or the Frenchman? Neither, as they were struck by a mac truck when attempting to run across the highway and were both killed instantly on impact.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

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What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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who's yellow , and looks like a bear? pudsey

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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A Jehovah's Witness knocks on my door. I didn't answer the door.

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Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Why did Julie fall off a swing? 'Cause she had no hands. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Julie, that's certain.

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How many fat Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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