Q. How do you know when an asian has robbed your house?? A. Like any other thief, most of your expensive belongings will be gone it depends on duration of robbing and their morality

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

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whats worse than 4 dead monkeys? 5 dead monkeys.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Fill in the _________ Ans: Cup Posted By: Lram

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what rhymes with ham and bread? girl, make me a sandwich

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Not a joke.

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How does Cee Lo Green order extra ketchup? Can I have some more ketchup, please?

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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Black people having a Job.

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What's funnier than one anti- joke? Two anti- jokes.

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Q:What do you call an insecure person A:Somebody who is likely to commit suicide

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What is worse than waking up by your alarm clock on the weekend? 9/11

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Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

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Why did the crab blush? It didn't because crab's can't blush.

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An Antihumorous Story Part One A rich man named Richard told his son James that he could have anything in the world for his thirteenth birthday. James only asked for one thing: a silver box containing 542pink ping pong balls. So Richard gave him a metal box containing 542 pink ping pong balls. Five years later, Richard heard a strange noise coming from James' room. It was the sound of a machine whirring, then a high pitched scream. All of a sudden, James bursted out of his room and ran out of the house. Later, the boy could not recall the incident. It was completely erased from his memory. For his eighteenth birthday, James asked for a golden box containing 785 pink ping balls. So it was granted him. For the next ten years, Richard kept a careful eye on his son. Every night, James could be heard whispering madly, "It's almost ready," over and over. For his twenty-eighth birthday, James asked for a simple wooden box that had one million pink ping pong balls inside. "What do you need all those pink ping pong balls for?" Richard finally asked. James froze, fiddling with something in the pocket of his jacket. "Oh yes, that. They were necessary for--" Then he got hit by a bus.

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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Three blondes walk into a bar...and have a nice evening, until one of them pulls out a gun and murders everyone at the bar, i think she was schizophrenic or something.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He drowned.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jahova's witnesses.

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Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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