Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Disabled.

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Can we still mine for gold in the American River? No, anyone seen mining for gold is considered a hobo and all the gold is cleared out by random people in the 17 century

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whats bloop with an m? matthew

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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How do you disprove feminism? This is how I disprove feminism. I go up to a feminist and ask her, 'If there are penises, then why are there women?' I have never met a feminist who can say anything in response to my logic.

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What do you do after a murder kills your entire family? Nothing, he killed you too

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen. Its was her funeral

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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I am quite mature.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How do you know when a ghost is lying? I don't know because I've never met one, so from personal experience I couldn't tell you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

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You cant spell chorus with out... Vagina!

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Why don't Catholics allow people to wear condoms? Because they get stuck in the alter boys braces.

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What did the vegetarian order for lunch? A dead baby.

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What's worse than being fat? Being gay

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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Why did the cow fall Cause a fat kid pushed him over

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How do you teach an asian baby to read? Enroll him in a good pre-school and practice regularly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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