What's the difference between a Toyota Camry and 20 dead babies? I don't have 20 dead babies in my garage.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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banana

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Why don't Black people Dream? Because the last one that did got shot.

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So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

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An Asian walks into a Chinese restaurant. Then he decides that he would prefer Mexican instead, and drives to a Taco Bell.

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A black man walks into a bar, and when he left he paid his tab and couldn't have been more courteous.

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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Why did Jimmy fall of his tractor? Because Jimmy doesn't have any arms or legs...Why doesn't Jimmy have any arms and legs? Cause Jimmy is a potato.

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Did you hear the one about the spoon and the dis running away while the cow jumped over the moon, IMPOSSIBLE! eating material such as the spoon and dish are inanimate objects, and cows cant jump for they weigh from 600 to 1000 lbs.

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Stephen Hawkins walks into a bar...

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Why did the car stop? It ran out of gas.

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One cow, determined to make a difference in the world, gets killed in a meat packing plant. We killed him, and we killed his dreams.

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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How do you get a cat off a swing? You throw a dog at it.

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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What was Tiger (from Whinnie the Pooh) looking for in the toilet? Pooh

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? A: Cancer

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A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

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How old is Batman? Old enough to be a bat.

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An invisible man sleeping in your bed! Who ya gunna call? Most likely the local police department to report the strange incident possibly brought on by lack of sleep. NOT Bill Murray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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