Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? "Get in the Batmobile"

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? wanna go ride bikes?

How did the blonde die? Frogs teleported from the future and brutally murdered her with forks.

whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

What kind of a prediction is THAT?

It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

Why did the dyslexic chicken cross the toad? Because the toad mocked his dyslexia, and the chicken does not tolerate rude bastard toads.

The body system was looking for a leader!? Heart - I am because I circulate the blood Brain - I should be because I control the body Liver - I should because I feed Anus - No, I am All laugh The anus held closed for seven days. The liver exploded the brain stewed and the heart stopped beating. Anus - Now, what am I?!

Why did Chuck Norris start crying? Because he was in a coma

How do you say cabbage in Spanish? You don't.

'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him? Because that would be assault, and not only assault but aggravated assault, since you are using a weapon to do it. Plus, the lawyer would have an advantage over you in court during the trial, due to having a law degree.

Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, here's some candy, gent in the van.

Jesse is so fat that Roy is jealous of his big ass tits

noah is a scrub jungle

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

Penis.

Your mother is so fat, that if she had 8 clones of her, they would probably not be able to stand in the elevator together due to the maximum capacity, and safety hazard.

Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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