Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? She had an asthma attack.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

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Q. What did the black lawyer say to the rabbi? A. We're both highly educated professionals.

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Why did Little Billy trip? Because I shot his foot off.

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Superman vs Batman real fight: Batman: Hmm I believe that Superman might want to fight m*squish* Batman explodes in a bunch of meat as a blue and red blur is seen fly by. Extended Edition: Batman: Hah Superman I got kryptonite gloves so if you would just stand close to them for about five minute...*squish* Batsack of meat left we see nothing because Superman is FASTER THAN A SPEEDING BULLET. They are probably gonna go like every fucking crossover, first they squabble and throw a few punches for five minutes, then they realize that the LAX LADDER LEX LUGER AND LEX LUTHOR brothers made up some fake story so sups and bts kill each other while they blow up the world, so Btz, and Soup end up beating them up... Moral: "PFF! BATMAN HAS BEATEN UP SUPERMAN AND THE HULK IN THOUSANDS OF SHlTTY NON CANON STORIES!" (In where the one with the Hulk described the hulk to have the instincts and combat skills of a "dumb, animal like confused ape" yes actual quote, Batman punched this confused green ape across a door and kept beating "The Hulk" up as he ran around in "animalistic fear and "rage" receiving random kicks by Batman, then Btz throws some capsule that turns into a fishbowl with no oxygen that chokes The Hulk (supposedly to death) in a few seconds... The Hulk can like hold his breath for YEARS in space, (but you know these lethal fishbowls)

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Why doesn't little jimmy ride his favourite bike to school any more? He was playing on the platform at at the railway station, tripped and fell across the track, at which point a seven carriage train came through at over 150 mph and cut through his upper thighs crushing everything in his legs and causing them to fall off.

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Why did the blonde go to business school? She wanted to get into business, and decided that a business degree was a good place to begin.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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Two straight men walk into a gay bar and promptly forget why they went to a gay bar when they are both clearly heterosexual.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

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wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

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Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing her seatbelt

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Why did the chickens leave McDonalds? Because they refused to have their nuggets deep fried (Wyndellberg)

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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What did batman say to robin when they got to their car? Get in the car

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What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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What did the turtle say to the hare? Nothing. Animals can't speak.

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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How much fun does a gay guy have? A butt load.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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