whats long and pointy and guys always have to brag about whos got the biggest one? their christmas trees

thumb_up thumb_down -55

How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

Why did the cow cross the road? It was escorted by its owner to get to the slaughter-house.

thumb_up thumb_down -69

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

thumb_up thumb_down +48

What do you call a girl with 1 eye and 3 arms... Chernobyl.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A black van approaches a small boy. The boy gets in the van, and the van drives away.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A dyslexic atheist stays up at night wondering if there is a Dog

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the strawberry say to the strawberry? Nothing because strawberries are fruit and can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops