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Yo mama's so fat, she's at risk for a number of obesity related disseases, including diabetes, hypertension, and heart dissease.

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field day?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? HIVs.

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If it bothers you? I am just saying that, fucking alright ill be slightly less cruel, I mean come on! It does not matter shit what others think! If someone ever tries to assault you because you are associated with me (yeah it happens), I will stand in front of you and KILL (and possibly rape) THEM!

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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How do you kill a jew? In a variety of destructive manners that are illegal and I would hope you would decide against.

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Whats cooler than being cool in High School? Nothing, now take a hit...everyone's looking

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And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

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What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

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why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

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What looks like a duck, smells like a duck and feels like a duck? A duck.

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Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

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What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

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HEY WATCH OUT FOR THAT TRUCK! What truck? Weird I could have sworn I saw a truck...

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what do you call a bee that makes milk? A BOObee

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- I was at my house last night - I was at your MOM'S house last night... I'm her neighbor, she was having trouble with her plumbing and I thought i should help out

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How do you kill a blue elephant? Shoot it with a blue shotgun How do you kill a pink elephant? Hold it's nose and shoot it with a blue shotgun.

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Vaginal secretions

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Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A women's opinion.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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