What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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What do you call a needy person? A person whos needs need needs.

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a would chuck could chuck wood? Home depot

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Chuck Norris does not get sick; He only gets sick when his immune system is weak.

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There once was a man from Peru, Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night and realized that his house was being robbed.

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Knock knock, Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana Smith, I'm here for the Smith Family Reunion.

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Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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A doctor walks into a bar. It's his day off and decides to celebrate after a long week of working.

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If Timmy has 2 apples and Sarah has 7 apples, what is the square root of the distance of Mars and Jupiter divided by the speed of light if X equals the value of negative infinity given the equation X(2) - E=MC/7?

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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Why was the jew crying? He just found out his newborn baby had twenty minutes to live.

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a man walks into a bar and it hurts

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-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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what did the guy say before he went to kill the other guy? Im killing you

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What do you call two dog? dogs

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly my dick down your throat.

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What's green, grows in my basement, and if fun to smoke? Mold. I lied about it being fun to smoke.

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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What's a fat chinaman? A guy who somehow got obese on rice. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?!

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What/s funnier than 24 dead Jews? 25 dead Jews. What/s funnier than 25 dead Jews? 6 million dead Jews. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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