I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

roses are red, violets are blue.

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

Ask me if I'm a tree. "Are you a tree?" Of course not.

How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

What happens when you give a Parrot a pack of cigarettes? Animal Rights Activists get upset and condemn your actions.

What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

What did the pedophile get for christmas? He was raped by a gorilla

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

... i forgot the joke :p

Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

sit on your hand until it goes numb and then touch yourself.

What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved

Do you know how to forget? No. Me either, I forgot.

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play including his 6 year old sister who has down syndrome.

Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

Hey babe, do you like going to sleep without shoes on? Because most people find it more comforting to remove footwear in order to rest and relax peacefully during bedtime.

What happens when an alien goes out in the rain It gets wet

A black guy and a Hispanic guy are in a car together. Who's driving? The black guy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...