What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

(In a job interview) Interviewer: Name a time when you've failed sometime Me: I failed an HIV test last June, anything else?

Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

Roeses are purple violets are green WTF u just stabbed me.

Why does Bugs Bunny have big ears? Because he's a rabbit

What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

Theory: Jesus: Father why must I go die in order to defeat sin, is sin not a product of humans? God: SHHH! You want humans to know they are stronger than us? Real life: Later on the cross Jesus: FATHER WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! God: *Thunder* Moral: Makes sense... Kinda? Maybe? A bit? I honestly do not get it :(

Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

Two children are opening presents for Christmas. Daughter: "Look how many beautiful things I've got, look how much parents love me! And you got a Jo-Jo! Ha-ha!" Son*playing with Jo-Jo*: "Yeah, some of us have Jo-Jo, and some of us leuchemia. Ha-ha."

Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

Knock, Knock Who's There

Why are aspirins white? Because the creator of aspirin didn't feel it necessary to color the pills.

"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

Why was the priest circumcised? He had a very painful urinary tract infection

What's the best rabbit for a black person?

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

A women's opinion.

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

What did the fat man say when he was offered infinite french fries for life? Yes.

I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

Roses are red violets are blue I think you re stupid go eat a shoe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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