Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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One time I masturbated by myself

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Do you know what's not right? Left.

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punchline below punchline above

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

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heyy emit chase wazzup

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That's what she didn't say

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Whats worse than being out in the cold? Having cancer.

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Why wasn't the man talking? Because he was sleeping.

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What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

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What was the blind man doing before he was strangled? He was breathing.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

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A straight guy, a straight girl and a bisexual guy walk into a bar. The bisexual guy is twice as likely to find a partner from a purely statistical point of view.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A drum set.

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WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DANII AND SCAFFHOLDING? ONLY ONE STILL HAS A POLE 1 LIKE = 1 TEAR FOR DANII

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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