How did Hellen Keller eat her meals? With a fork.

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A black man offers to take a girl home from the nightclub. As they're sitting in the car, she curiously asks him ''So tell me it's true what they say about black man''. The man sighs and explains: ''Well many people think that we stab, shoot and steal things. Another stereotype that is launched at us is that we have large penises. I however do not steal. My penis is also quite small. After this conversation the girl was driven home safely, and was now convinced that stereotypes are lies.

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A man walks into a bar and asks for 6 vodka shots. The bartender looks at him in a strange manner. The man quickly downs all 6 of the vodka shots. The bartender looks at the man and says "Jeepers mate, whats the celebration?" The man replies "Well mate, first blow job today" The bartender in a kind gesture says "Here you go mate, next one is one me" while pouring another shot. The man respectfully replies, "No thanks mate, if 6 didn't get the taste away, im sure 7 won't"

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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Roses are red, violets are purple.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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Why did the man jump out of the plane? Because the plane was losing fuel fast so he grabbed a parachute and went for it and realized that was the only one left so everyone died a horrible death.

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What's the difference between a Mustang and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a sack of dead babies in my garage.

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What's long, hard and full of semen? An erect penis prior to ejaculation.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Interrupting kid with ADHD" *I did not respond, as I knew he would interrupt me before I was able to finish the sentence.*

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Two blondes walk into a building......you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

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Penis

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Do you know what's funny? 9/11

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whats the difference between a mexican and a fish? one is a human being while the other is a fish, what did you expect?

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how do u get to your favorite chinese restaurant? wok.

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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Obama.

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In Soviet Russia, life was very hard due to the failing economy and oppressive government.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? She had Down-Syndrome.

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Did you hear about the guy who broke his legs? His legs were broke.

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4-4-2

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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