A hispanic walks down the street. ICE quickly arrests him, as he is here illegally. 5 months after deporting, he crosses the southern US border to try again.

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Q. If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes can we fit on the roof? A. Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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this kid named terry stockton thought it was funny to get someone in the ankle lace then the kid got up and pucnched him in the face so hard he had a seizure

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of trousers? To get to the other side.

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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What did hitler say to Osama Bin Laden? Nothing they were born at different times

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What happened when Sally got hit by a truck? WHO CARES CALL 911!!!!

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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What do you have if you have 100 rabbits in a row and 99 step back? That would be a very unlikely thing to happen, unless a mildly scary predator was released in front of them, or they weren't all stepping back at the same time.

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What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

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What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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roses are red violets are blue cover me im goin in

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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It is Scientifically proven that, if you have a shower in china... you get wet

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You have friends

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Roses are red Violets are blue I gotta go to the bathroom

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there is nothing better than waking up to realise that your being hugged by your partner unless that partner is not home

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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