What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

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A black man walks into a bar. He sits down and has a couple drinks. When he is finished, he generously tips the bartender and walks out.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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Marilyn Manson was walking to church.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" A few people laugh, but the horse, incapable of speech, does not. He is unfamiliar with this location and begins to panic. In his panic his leg is broken. He is put down shorty thereafter.

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A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

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I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

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why did the girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? A wheelchair

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Roses are red, Violets are blue...........Im wearing socks

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Why did the Korean shoot the dog? Unfortunately, the dog was suffering from a severe mental trauma it had sustained when it by got hit by a car. This caused the dog to be extremely aggressive and it ruthlessly attacked a 5-year old girl playing in the street. The Korean who was coming home from a day out hunting in the woods saw the girl and shot the dog from long range to save the girl's life. The man was later thanked by the girl's family.

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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When life gives you lemons, you're probably at Mr. Life's fruit stand over on Imperial Avenue.

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what do you do when your girlfriend gives you head while playing MW3? continue to play while politely asking her sister to make you a sandwhich

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Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i am in sex mode, why the F**k are you!!

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how did the ant die? i stepped on it

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What did the blonde say when she was asked what color her hair was ? Blonde.

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What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door.

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Why did the man cross the road? He was hungry and homeless, and in search of chicken.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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