What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? A long sleeve shirt

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Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. <<< This is the ultimate tough anti-joke Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A shitload! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair.)

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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what does 2+2equals? i think its 3 but i could be wrong

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How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

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what did the crow say do the dead gazelle? - nothing the crow ate it

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What's the difference between liberals and communists? Nothing.

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Where's the dick??? east

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What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

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Why did the boy go to his room? Because his father told him to.

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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Tool will release their 5th album this summer.

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"Doctor, Doctor I think I am a pair of curtains" The man was swiftly referred to the psychiatric ward.

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Hey I just met you, and your f$#king crazy,I ate your pizza, so go get me another one!!

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what did the turnip say to the plum? nothing, as most fruits and vegetables would've said

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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