What's the difference between Donald Trump and a refrigerator? Open a refrigerator and you will find food, typically refrigerated food like milk, eggs, you know, stuff like that.... When you open Donald Trump you will be charged with murder.

What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

Why did the chicken was the boat see the genie yes but dog said meow? Last night when you were sleeping, I took a dump in your shoes and used your toothbrush to wipe my butt. Then I took your wallet and flushed down the toilet.

A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

why did the man fall off his bike? He got shot by the navy seals, He was a highly decorated terrorist.

Church.

I scream You scream The police come It's awkward.

Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period. Damnit, ignore that.

How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

When life gives you melons, you're dyslexic.

How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

what did the big chimney say to the little chimney ?? your to young to smoke

Knock Knock Who's there? Probably

once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

How can you get a hot girl to notice you? Set her baby on fire.

what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

Why did moral man run out of morals? Moral: LEAVE MORAL MAN ALONE! BUAHAHAHA LEAVE HIM ALONE! BUAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

What do you call a man who has a camera? a cameraman

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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