So I was walking down the road today

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

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Knock Knock! Whos There? Paul Okay I was expecting you

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why cant helen keller drive? because cars werent popularly accepted when she lived.

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What do you call a Jew and a black mans offspring? A human

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YOU

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There's a car about to hit me.

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Brad Fuller!

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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Where did the boy go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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What did the dinosaur and John Wayne say to the Easter Bunny? Nothing, they're both dead and the Easter Bunny isn't real.

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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What's black and hanging on a tree in my backyard? Blackberries.

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Whats worse then getting caught watching porn? 9/11

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter on the street? A very nice man because a homeless man just dropped that and he was trying to return it. Rob W

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What has eight legs and one eye? Two chairs and half a pigs face.

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Two penguins are sitting on an ice flow. One says to the other: "hey--you know, it looks like you are wearing a tuxedo." The other one says, "who says I'm not?"

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How do you make a telemarketer scream? Set him on fire.

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Your momma so poor, she has a hard time paying her bills.

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Whats the difference between a sack of babies and a sandwich? A Sand which floats when you put it into a large body of water.

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what do you call mexicans in a circle around a house? a spicket fence

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Max

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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