Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

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Why did the fish cross the road? Because fish don't have legs and can't walk anywhere

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

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Q: Why did the Japanese man fall off the cliff? A: He was pushed

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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Why did Ramsey fall off the seesaw? Because while he was playing with friends on a seesaw at a nearby Country Club, a very angry and insane man who had many handicaps, decided to solve his problems by killing someone. A funeral was held a week later.

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Why did Timmy pass his chemistry exam? Because he studied.

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how do you make time fly? throw a clock out a window.

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC and join his chicken friends to protest.

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An Irishman, an Englishman, and a Scottishman walks into a bar. They had a good time.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender does not ask about its facial characteristics, because he is wondering why there is a horse standing in his bar.

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If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

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Firgen and the blung brigade

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yo mommas so ugly that as a child she was often teased for her looks.

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What do you call a kid with one arm and an eye-patch? Names.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Schrödinger's cat walks into a bar And doesn't

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't the sperm cell cross the road? It died from the intense heat.

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Ask Me If I'm A Piece of Bread Are You a Piec--- Nope

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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