A woman leaves the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Your mother is so heavy that she decided to try out nutrisystem

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock knock I don't play games, go away! Knock knock How did you get in my house? Knock knock Stay back I have a weapon! Knock knock What are you!!! Knock knock Oh god, someone please help! Knock knock What do you want, I can give you money. Knock knock Just don't hurt my family, please. Knock knock!!! WHO'S THERE!!! I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the black man fall asleep in the unemployment line? Because he was dangerously fatigued from staying up all night weeping passionately into the arms of his wife after losing his high-earning job of twenty years after the CEO of the company declared bankruptcy and finding out that his only daughter was in the hospital in critical condition after her school bus flipped off a bridge.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many black ppm does it take to screw in a light bulb All of them, plus 1 white guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How can you tell Santa is racist? He doesn't give Africans presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications in the background while you're trying to play a game of Jetman so it starts lagging.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

thumb_up thumb_down +19

- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why do black people eat at KFC? Because KFC serves good food at reasonable prices.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I'm trying to see from Adam Fantuzzi's point of view but i cant stick my head that far up my arse Daniel

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the deal with brown?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Do you know what's hilarious? Not rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops