A zebra dies and goes to animal heaven. All the animals around him are trotting, flying, jumping, each according to its own species, in the kind of bliss that only eternity can bring. But the zebra is not impressed and mopes through heaven's green fields. A giraffe notices his languid stupor and asks, "Why so glum, pal?" The zebra mournfully replies, "All my life I've wondered if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes." The giraffe, hoping to get the zebra to some answers as quickly as possible, suggests, "Why not go as God?" The zebra, somewhat taken aback by the notion that God might give him an audience, replies, "Oh, I can do that?" The giraffe says, "Sure, I'll show you the way!" The giraffe leads the zebra to a great tabernacle of gold and points the way up a long stairway of diamond. The zebra follows the stairs up to two great ivory doors. But no matter what he tried, the zebra couldn't get the door open. The only animals that could open the door for him would be the primates because of their opposable digits, but the zebra wasn't much of a social animal, so he didn't have any friends. He spent eternity with no answer to his question.

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? The entire population.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had AIDS

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"My c.ock is bigger!" "No! My c.ock is bigger!": Two gamec.ock owners arguing over who has a bigger dick.

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Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

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question:How do you call a Russian with Ak47. answer: Spetznaz

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why did 9/11 poop on a condominium? fuk

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What's sicker than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill death ratio

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dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

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Whats black and can multitask? My IPod you racist!

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I hate blackniggers

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Girls got to Jupiter to get more stupider. Boys go to Mars to build a sophisticated civilization.

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why did the plane crash the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Hi what I lug you

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two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

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whats a cross between michael jackson and arnold shwarzanegga? Michaelwasanigga

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soccer

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Wanna know what makes me smilee? Facial Muscles

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what has two legs and is red all over a fireman doing his job

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what's bad about pushing your friend off a cliff? you can't do it twice

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Whats Big, Brown, and smells like Horse Crap? Horse Crap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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