What did the bartender say to the black guy? hi there

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than death? Living in Agonising pain for the rest of the life that happens to be reading this statement.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There are two kinds of people in this world: those that finish their sentences

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mama is so so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is the black kid down the street getting for his birthday? Well first of all, his name is Pat. And he asked his parents for an Xbox that he will likely receive, and I assume a variety of other gifts from friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was 2 men walking down the street one fell on the floor from a heart attack and the other started to molest a lonely child. They then heard a bang and they found a dead baby lying in a bin. The moral of this story is to.... Knock Knock Whos there? The Police? The Police who? The police we are here to inform you your nan got hit by a truck and got decapitaited, Sorry but your nan is dead. way

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Random question: Whats black and white, green, and black and white? Well thought out correct answer: 2 zebras fighting over a pickle

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Wy did the Araib cross the road? A: To open another gas station.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the house painted pink? I dont know, why don't you ask the owner?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

how do u keep a stupid person in suspense? how

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A hundred dollar bill falls in the middle of an intersection. Equally distanced from the bill stand a Jew, a Black, a White Supremacist and an Arab. Wouldn't it suck to be on this street? I am sure violence will ensue. Wouldn't want to be caught in the crossfire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A duck walks into a bar and the bartender asks "What'll you have?" and the duck says "Quack". The bartender is then promptly fired and committed to the nearest mental institution for thinking that ducks can talk and order beer.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What starts with F and ends with uck? Fire truck

thumb_up thumb_down -8

The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops