Why does Santa Clause eat cookies? Because cookies not part of a balanced diet.

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

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Q: What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Q: So what's worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? A: The punchline of this joke,

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Where's Waldo? The cemetery, he died last week.

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What's sad about 4 black people in a cadilac driving over a cliff? They stole my car :(

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whos district champs not JM

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what starts with b and ends with b? The bomb i just planted in your house.

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Why did the fat chick have a camel toe? She was half camel

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69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

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Billy: hey dave, wanna hear a joke? Dave: what? Billy: oh yeah, you are deaf.

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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who can beat up superman doomsday, duh, he killed him

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3 men check in to a motel. They all decide to leave given the eminent danger of being the butt of a homosexual joke.

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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fjasdklfjklasdjfasdfk .... sorry i have terets!

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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What's the difference between jam and jelly? Jelly is a clear or translucent fruit spread made from sweetened fruit juice, and set using naturally occurring pectin. Jam contains both fruit juice and pieces of fruit.

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im the real danny hamilton you stupid asshole

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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I had a chocolate chip cookie today, thats it, just a chocolate chip cookie.

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Roses are Dead, Voilets are, too Now shut up and say nothing Because we're watching you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops