My mom told me to shut up because I was screaming as I was strangled.

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Why are Chinese people short? Chinese people are often exposed to harmful chemicals because of lax environmental laws, and suffer from poor nutrition.

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How do you stop a cat from urinating on your floor? Shoot it.

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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Elizabeth Warren

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How come anti jokes r funny

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knock, knock whos there child molestor

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Why did the Jew rob the bank? -He was a criminal.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? You've already seen this joke at least SIXTY TIMES on this website, so you already know.

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a man walks into a bar the other man ducks

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An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

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How did Sarah Palin see Russia from her house? She didn't.

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Where do you go when your friends called you spoiled? Africa.

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Kris- "Hey! Ask me if I'm a tree! Kait&Alyssa- ".....Are you a tree?...." Kris- "No.(:"

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a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

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"Whats your favorite number?" "9." "Is it because thats your jersey number." "Thats my jersey number?"

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? He graduated at the top of his class with a master's degree in engineering.

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Whats the difference between a polish drunkard and a German scholar? They are two different nationalities.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would run away too if your name was urdaagaa.

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What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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Once upon a time Jimmy was walking home from school. Jimmy was then confronted by a a pedophile so he suddenly ate himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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