a terrorist walks into a bank and says "gimme all the money or ill kill you" the bank owner said you and what army the terrorist said this army and no one came in buuuut he opened hi jacket and there was a bomb straped to him then he exploded it Buuuuuuut in hell he thinks hang on a minute i didn't get my money oh for goodness sake Buuuuuuuuuuut in heaven the bank man said i still live in a wonderfull place and anywhay we had no money left and i was going to suiside soooooooooooooooooooooooo you done me a favour and if i would of suiside i could of gone to hell but you killed me so i edidnt go to hell buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut you did lol by the way i just wasted your time

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the polar bear say when he walked into a sauna? Absolutely nothing because he was a polar bear. I mean seriously, did I even have to ask? Everyone should know that a polar bear is an animal and he wouldn't say anything. If he did it would most likely be a growl or a roar. If you believed that he would have said something you obviously didn't pass the first grade. I finish with the fact that a polar bear would not survive in a sauna because they are accustomed to cold climate. I guess this was just a waste of time.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

yous are all f u c k i n g dumb like rat kavanagh

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Rishi is a funny guy, well he thinks he is. true story.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock Who's there? Doorbell repairman

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A chicken walks into a barn.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how do you know when you're a man? massive erection.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is similar between a penguin and a newspaper? If you kill a penguin, then grind it up into a fine powder, then the penguin becomes a newspaper.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: what do you call a man that see's a unicorn A: hallucinating

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the man put his penis in the baby? Because it's warmer than a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Bill:What do you get when you cross a panda and an eagle? Joe:I don't know what? Bill: Is that even possible?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How did the blind man end up in the hospital? He didnt see the bus coming.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How old is Batman? Old enough to be a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What Do You Call a Black Man With a Gun?? A Cop

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a person and one is a pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did little Betsy have a stomach ache? Her alcoholic mother pinned her down in a drunken rage and made her drink bleach.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a medical student who finishes last in his class? Doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops