Hey guys I'm more of a Nets fan.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot them in the head with a revolver.

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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What did the mom say to her clinically depressed son? You're dad died

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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Why did the little boy cry? I cut off his toes one by one and shoved fireworks up his ass

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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What moos like a cow? Another cow

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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Q: What did Yoda do at the end of star wars when he lost his light saber? A: He asked the prop guy if he had any more and he happened to have another and they went on with making the great film many still love today.

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Friends are like snow; they disappear when you pee on them.

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why did the husband always work late nights? he needed the extra hours to provide for his family

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have you ever heard of the mexican that went to college...no...oh me neither

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Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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when the teacher asked jimmy if he was a girl jimmy felt very scared because his teacher had no mental problems.

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Man #1:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: I don't know Man #1: Because he died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Because he died? Man #1: Yep. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Man #2: Really? Come on, I've already answered your stupid question. Man #1: JUST ANSWER! Man #2: Fine, because he died. Man #1: No, peer pressure. Duh. Man #2 promplty punches Man #1 in the face and continues about his buisness.

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops