Chuck Norris can cook ramen noodles with a microwave.

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What goes in your mouth long and hard, and comes out soft and sticky? A stick of bubblegum.

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Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Roxanne's hat looks like a condom

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Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweat and so are you

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Q.What has flashing lights and really bad dancing A.Baby haveing an eppilectic fit

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Yo momma is so fat, that when I went over to your house and accidentally stepped on a skateboard, yo momma came out and said "get the %$^# off the skateboard!"

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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Why didnt little jimmy have a funeral? Because he is still at the bottom of the lake where I put him.

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Jimmy was skipping in the park one day when a young boy stopped him. "Hello there, would you like to be friends? We can go behind the old oak tree and play soccer!" asked the boy. "Ok!" replied Jimmy, and they went off together to play. The so-called 'young boy' was actually a wanted midget rapist. Jimmy was brutally raped and filmed. The film was later uploaded onto the internet where it blew up in a matter of weeks. Jimmy had to move schools 6 times and had to go to counselling every week. He finds it hard making friends and later went on to become a heavy cocaine addict.

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i feel like i will die some heroic death, but its more likely i will trip over my dog and choke on a spoonful of frosting.

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What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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Why did the boy go to the hospital? He didn't. Unfortunately the gunshot wound severely injured the boy and he was unable to be revived in time to survive.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Cruchie.

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Man #1: What was the hardest part about watching that kid get hit by that bus? Man #2: My dick...

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what did the old man say to the older man? "hey".

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What's worse than getting AIDS? shaking hands with a liberian doctor. Knock Knock Who's there? Ebola

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A man is balancing on a bar. But it's a bar where people drink so I don't know how that works.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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