Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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so dont touch it.

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Why did the young boy drop his ice cream? Subscribe to find out; starting at only $14.99 a month! For more jokes similar to this one, subscribe to "Horrible Jokes" for $95 a month! Subscription Plans: - $14.99: Answer one joke per month - $49.99: The above plan... PLUS a free copy of "Antijoke, the book" - $99.99: A free cookie - $1099.99: A free cookie and a pass to the dark side - $0.25: Eternal happiness Order now for best prices! Or else we'll burn down your house and kill your extended family! Thank you!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Interrupting Pessimist. Interrupting Pessi- Slavery.

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Q. Knock knock A. Who's there Q. DEEZ A. DEEZ who A. DEEZ NUTZ HA GOT EEEEEM

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What's funny and looks like a fish? A clown fish

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What's worse than being named SAID? Having AIDS.. And getting a bee sting - it hurts like ****!

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Guess what my dog can do? Bark.

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Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

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SCENES WHEN TOM O'SHEA GETS STABBED IN PRISON AFTER STEALING THE WHEELS OFF AN AMBULANCE

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What happened when the black man was pushed off the cliff? His bones shattered upon impact and he died almost instantly

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Chuck Norris doesnt eat honey, hes allergic to it.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

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why did the imagrant cross the road the cops were on his tail for false identity of the chicken

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one day a boy was in his bed he woke up and stepped on his carpet,he then got out a bowl and some breakfast, 23 minutes later the boy rode to school on his bike and parked it in a bike room, he then sat down at his seat and pulled out his history book and waited for Mr Jonty Nicholls to finish his coffee so he could learn about hitler.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapo.

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Pigs have the emotional capacity of a five year old think about that next time you have to dissect one in biology

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs. A pharmisict.

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Knock Knock Who's There AT&T Guy Mom it's for you

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There was a big guy he was called Mac. So Mc Donalds turned him into a burger

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a duck walks into a restraunt.and the waiter asks "what would you like?" a quacker (like cracker)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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