what is a bracket? a bracket

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Do you like impressions? Why? That's Socrates

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

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Why couldn't the mexican get a job? He was seven.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

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Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

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A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

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What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

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Do you know why Justin Bieber is so successful? Because he is a talented dancer-singer who was lucky enough to be discovered by pop music icon Usher.

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

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what happen to covietz when he licked his balls? nothing he likes the taste

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How can you tell the person who stole your car was black? Stereotyping is wrong.

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John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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the danced cus they were young, they danced cus they were free, but mostly the danced cus they needed to pee

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Knock Knock ? Whose's there ? The person you should be opening the door for The person you should be opening the door for who? Oh my god Frank open the goddamn door

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I honestly have no idea what is upsetting you, why would I lie about my name? Please don't leave, you do remember me don't you? Can I call you over?

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what do you get when you mix a shit zoo and a pitbull......"bull shit" oh this joke sucks well my life is over

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Why didn't the man stop at the stop sign? He was violently killed turning at the last intersection

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chuck norris can round house kick reasonably well

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Why did the black guy still have price tags on his clothes? He forgot to take them off.

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Why was the bus driver sad? The kid with the icecream had c4 strapped to his chest.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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