Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, he got hit by a bus.

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what do you get when you cross a man and a horse? Collision

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Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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what do u call a black person by his name

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the old man fell down the stairs and broke his leg, he then went to the hospital and got a cast. later that day he went home and ate soup

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Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

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Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

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What's worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? 1 dead baby in 12 trash cans.

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

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Why does life suck? Because it does

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops