Doctor: I bring grave news. Your wife is dying. She won't survive for another 100 years. Concerned and anguished Husband: Oh... that's ok! Doctor: Oh did I say years? I meant days! Oh the mirth! *The doctor breaks down into hysterical laughter, which the Concerned and Anguished Husband is furious to see, as the Doctor is taking delight out of such a grave situation.

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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What happens when a black man spills all of his grape soda? He cleans it up and recycles the empty can

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knock knock. Who's there... Mormans

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Why was the girl crying on the busy street? She was naked.

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How can you kill someone who looks like a squirrel? With an bomb. That would kill most people.

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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to boys are playing football 1 ses pass tje over ses pass wot

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Luke Hardie is G@Y

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Q: A young friend you met on the internet invites you over to his house. When you arrive, Chris Hansen enters the room. What does he say? A: Welcome to our home

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- knock knock. - Who's There? - Steve. - Steve who? - Fitzsimmons. We met at your wife's work party.

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if quizzes are quizzical, arent tests testical?

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black people

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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