Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

What's worse than getting Ebola? Nothing

What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

What's sad about 4 people in a Lamborgini going over a cliff? It was my car.

Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand. He didn't say anything because ducks can't talk.

What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

Why didn't the parakeet eat my diarrhea? I already ate it.

Roses are red Here's something new Violets are violet NOT F**KING BLUE

what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

Yo mama so stupid that she was tested and found to be mentally retarded.

A man walks into a bar and orders an alcoholic beverage. The bartender serves him and inquires about the man's day. The man says nothing, drinks his beverage, pays his tab and walks out.

How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, the cow jumped over the moon. It burnt up on re-entry

Justin Bieber.

Why did the chicken lay an egg? Because she got knocked up.

How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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