i have two hands.

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A horse walks into a mans house. The man wonders how the horse got into his house.

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and mop. In turns out the bartender was a paranoid schizophrenic and was hallucinating.

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A man's car broke down on a lonely country road in the middle of a stormy night. Spotting a light in a farmhouse nearby, he made his way there through the mud and driving rain, and knocked on the door. The farmer who lived there answered, and said what while he didn't have any room in the house, the barn would provide shelter and warmth until morning. Thankful for the hospitality, the stranded man made his way to the barn and made a place to sleep in the hay. As the lightning flickered outside, briefly illuminating the barn's interior, he noticed knot-holes in the wood of the stall walls, and the hoses of a milking machine laying nearby. He then fell fast asleep. The farmer woke him up in the morning, and together they rode on a tractor to the road to make the necessary repairs to the man's automobile, but only after enjoying a country breakfast prepared by the farmer's wife and lovely eighteen year old daughter.

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Yeah, so I was partially right when I assumed that you joined the feds in order to make sure the past would not repeat itself huh? The underground society never broke a simple rule, a single law, it simple grew from a bunch of dopeheads, to people capable of creating nuclear weapons... Just a matter of speaking of course.

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Moderately entertaining story, friend.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

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I am a nigger.

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whats brown and stickey? a brown stick

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Why don't carrot tops souls ? They just don't

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What did the mouse say to the elephant that sat on him? Nothing, he died on impact.

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Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted AIDS

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Q: What's funnier than a baby in a blender? A: A baby in a clownsuit in a blender.

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What does this and this have in common , wait I was meant to put pictures up, aww

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Roses are red Violets are blue Who is your daddy And what does he do?

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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please ignore the bottom two 'jokes' as they were written by josh carey and ryan danielz

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 8 year old in my trunk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops