what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why didn't Helen Keller drive? With all that time she spent learning how to read and write despite being blind and deaf, authoring numerous books, and being a prolific political activist; she simply did not have the substantial time to acquire a driver's license.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why Did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

thumb_up thumb_down +6

VAGINA.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

no, ten dead babies nailed to ten dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you give a little girl with no legs and no arms for christmas...................cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Whats green and turns red at the push of a button A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the girl drown? She had no arms or legs and couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What starts with "m" and rhymes with monkey? Platypus

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A girl talks to her boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops