Why did Mr. Moseley choose to not buy crest toothpaste this month? Because your daughter got an abortion.

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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Why was the comedian so funny? Because that's his job, and if he wasn't funny he would have to become a hobo.

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men's rights.

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Are you from Jamaica? 'Cause you're making me crazy! Are you from Haiti? I'm really sorry about all the disaster that's been happening there.

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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Q: How Do You Stop a Bus? A: Pull the Brakes so it comes to a absolute stop.

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Q. who's george porchy?

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

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they call me the green lantern because my little sister died in chemical fire

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What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well he graduated in four years with a degree in chemical engineering. He worked hard all four years in order to keep his scholarship to the university. Now he leads a very successful life and lives in a large house with his wife and two children.

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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what do they do to dead Mexicans? skin them and make them in to wet suites.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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