How do you kill two birds with one stone. You don't its not humanly possible because birds cannot be killed with rocks.

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What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

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Dear God, That wasn't cool. Seriously. From, Japan

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What's up brah brah

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A man is in the desert and he finds a lamp, he rubs the lamp and out comes a genie! The genie says "I can grant your three wishes, for releasing me from the lamp" The man says "I wish I didn't have AIDS".

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What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

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How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

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Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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Ever heard of the dumb blonde joke? You probably wouldn't get it.

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Why was the woman bald? She was a Britney spears fan.

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What do you not want to call a african american that begins with an N and ends with an R? A Neighbor!

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A black man walks into a bar The bartender tells him they don't serves blacks The black mans calls the Police and the bartender is arrested for Discrimination

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I ponder

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Moralman... Seriously man, take it easy, my name is Nero, yes I play dual identities sometimes, it is only in order to convey my hidden messages to my people. I am deeply sorry to admit that those that assaulted you where indeed from my order, they have been prosecuted by the law and excluded from our order.

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Why is it that we don't eat clowns? Because in most Western countries cannibalism is illegal.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Eats shoots and leaves Pandas. If you can't figure this out then you're probably 12

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Did u hear about the fire at the circus? 12 people died.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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