Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

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What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

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There is a new film coming out, it is a re-make of "Fatal Attraction" The only difference is, it is about two tonnes of antimatter... [L]

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What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

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The Braves win the N.L. east

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What do you call the man who graduated medical school last in his class? Doctor

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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Hey, Batman Yeah? Knock Knock Who's there? Not your parents!

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What did the retarded guy say to the other retaarded guy? A. Your retarded

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

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What did the cat say to the dog? Meow

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If you posten bout Kony I feel bad for you son. Cause ive snached 99 children and you pst saved none jesse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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