What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

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What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

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A retarded man waks ito aaa baar

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree, He was dead

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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Whats Yellow and has arms. A lemon i lied about the arms.

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Knock Knock Whos there? It's me your mom you dumbass and let me in

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What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

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bill: HEY! your moma so fat bob:so i dont care shes gonna die soon anyway

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A jewish man, a black man, and a redhead walk into an electronics store. Because they work there.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

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Why couldn't the black man swim He never learned how.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? The chicken doesnt understand the concept of a street so it was most likely just wandering across the street

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A man walks into a bar. It was a metal bar. He got hurt.

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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what is the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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What do you call cheese that is not yours? The fact that you do not own the cheese doesnt change its name

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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what do you call a drunk person? By his or her name and call him a cab

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

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What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops