roses are red, bitches are blue close your damn legs and use a condom too.

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Q:Whats rhe best part about spinning a baby round and round Stopping it with a shovel

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A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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Where's Waldo? Six feet under.

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

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Q: What did the latino kid get for christmas? A; Nothing because he died two days before

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Whats the quickest way to a woman's heart? A bilateral incision on the upper left region of the sternum.

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7

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-What do you call it when a female and male are together? - A very serious relationship.

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Paddy and mick were walking down the street when they saw some traffic lights. They proceeded to cross the road and continue on their journey.

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What did the retarded asian dolphin eat for breakfast? A big bowl of shit

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knock knock who's there no one

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Why did the zuccini fly? I was in an acid trip.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

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What do you call a fat kid who eats twinkies. Otto Hintz`````

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Why did the ship crash into Italy? Because a woman took over driving it!

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What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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What do you call a tree with no branches? A stick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops